I wrote this after my first serious relationship which ended in my broken heart. I was only 18, but I loved him and he was the one with which I lost my virginity. He was the man that I wanted to marry and have children with one day. Alas, it wasn't meant to be. Ten years later, we are still the best of friends, but it took me two years to completely get him out of my heart and my mind. I don't think anyone ever forgets their first true love and I know that he'll always have that special place in my heart.

The hours pass and I sit and wait,
thinking of the past.
I can hear the ticking of the clock,
every passing second seems a bit louder.

I grow restless,
wishing for a good sign,
I can't stop thinking,
that once you were mine.

The room fades out,
all I see is you.
The day we met and the times we shared,
how I thought you really cared.

My heart is broken,
I want to hold you close.
I want to feel your touch,
Just one last time.

A tear slowly trickles down my cheek,
burning my flesh.
All I want is to escape,
to get away from the pain and the loneliness.

I suddenly feel weak,
all my energy drained.
Deep down I know you're gone,
but I can't stop the pain.

I know that I'm young,
and some don't think I understand love,
but my love for you was strong and true
An endless desire and passion.

I can't stop thinking,
how you're gone from my life.
My heart aches, my soul hurts,
the tears fall freely from my eyes.

Until I face reality and accept that you're gone
my life will be a mess.
I will always be wondering why.
Wasn't my love and faith strong enough?
Was I too selfish? Demanding?
Did I not care enough?

Why?