Evil Carter
  1. No more talking to crows and making me laugh hysterically! Just makes me want you more.

  2. NO Stagediving. You think you can dive into a crowd, let us grope you for a minute and then just leave? Ok, don't ever do that again.

  3. No more specials like MuchMusic Exposed. You made me cry dammit. You suck.

  4. No more emoting in your videos (ie: DIHTCFY).

  5. NO POUTING EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. No hugging the Boys so hard that you reduce me to a weeping lily.

  7. No more sex-on-the-stage moves like you did during Just What I Needed. My lidido can only take so much thrusting, gyrating and booty shaking at the same time! Good God!

  8. STOP LICKING YOUR LIPS!!!!!!!!! He does this like 10 times in a five minute interview. ARGH!

  9. The cute expressions have to stop. (see the GMTV captures)

  10. Poking out that bottom lip is just cause for putting you in jail.

  11. Stop grinning like a little kid in pictures. I don't want "AWWW" to become a permanent part of my vocabulary.

  12. No grabbing your head while singing Help Me. Jesus H Christ!

  13. Speaking of grabbing, stop grabbing the right side of your pants while you sing. You KNOW how close that is to IT and you KNOW what IT does to us!

  14. Speaking of IT, On Much in Demand, you kept grabbing IT and adjusting IT. DO NOT DO THAT EVER AGAIN! Fix IT before you go on TV!

  15. No swimming with a tank top on. It makes us feel sorry for you.

  16. Stop looking utterly ADORABLE with the long hair tucked behind the ears (Stars Wars Premiere).

  17. Stop letting your hair grow. It's causing my libidio some agony.

  18. No singing to fans, especially little girls. All it does is make me want to bear your children and I don't want any dammit!

  19. No hugging dad in public.

  20. Don't let your voice crack when you're talking. It kills me!

  21. Asking us "Are you ready for this jelly?" Unless you plan on coming over and showing me, then put the jelly away!

  22. No tongue. Absolutely no tongue. Put it back in the mouth, please.

  23. No wagging the finger. Flag on the damn play! Illegal use of hands.

  24. No singing any lyrics with any of the following words and/or phrases: "…Turn me on." We want to know what to do…but unless you tell us specifically, then just shut up about it, ok? "Eats me, eats you up…," from inside or anywhere else. “Witcha life…” no scrap talk singing. “I need you…” tonight, right now, or any other time. "Sexual," "sexuality," or any derivative thereof. "Gotta get somebody slammin'." Nuh uh. Just... nope. Stop it.

  25. And while we’re at it, no growling lyrics, no sighing, moaning, groaning, “oooh, bay-bay,” or sucking in your breath before or after any line you sing. No breathing.

  26. DO NOT show Mr. Happy on stage.

  27. No slow grinds. No pelvic thrusts. No body rolls. No thrusting, grinding or rolling of any kind. Especially when Mr. Happy makes an appearance.

  28. And no grabbing, either. No grabbing Mr. Happy!

  29. No peeking at the audience as you're skakin' your booty to see if we're enjoying it.

  30. No giving looks of pure animal lust while you're driving a car in a video.

  31. No grabbing the camera on stage and freakin' it! NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!

  32. No kissing the camera either.

  33. No just got-fucked-hair styles.

  34. No pouting or licking those lips during interviews.

  35. Stop talking in that soft, painfully shy tone when you're talking to your fans. It's killing us man!

  36. No more looks like the one you gave the camera on MTV when you said "Can't forget about Dre."

  37. No shaking the booty. Or backing that ghetto bootay up.

  38. No poles, ladders, canes, chairs, hats or leather.

  39. No ripping off of the sleeves. No ripping off of any piece of clothing.

  40. No photos on, under, in or near any bed. And no sleeping photos either.

  41. No head banging or twirly dancing in videos. No being wet in any video. No throwing papers in any video. No touching the face in videos.

  42. No crooked smiles. No sexy smiles. No sly smiles. No radiant smiles. No man/boy smiles. No smiles. Don't smile.

  43. No pimp ass ghetto scrap talk. Even as Kid Nicky.

  44. No bare tummy or bare chest photos of any type. Keep your shirt on and buttoned.

  45. No hugging! No hugging band mates, friends, stuffed animals, fans, girlfriends, pets, or family.

  46. No running your hand through your hair under any circumstances, especially when your hair is wet.

  47. No “come hither” looks in any photo. No looking directly into the camera with that look. You know… yeah that one, that LOOK. Good Gawd!

  48. No swaying, working or rocking the body. No singing about body swaying, body working or body rocking. Don’t even think about swaying, working or rocking the body.

  49. No giggling and definitely no maniacal laughing.

  50. No drumming. You make me want to run up on that stage and jump your gorgeous ass!

  51. NO running on stage in your boxer briefs! GOOD GOD BOY! I only have one life and don't wanna die just yet.

  52. No admitting that you cried when you got arrested.

  53. No crying on TV. You're breaking my heart. No tears period.
- Some submissions made by Suzanne.